Lesson One: If My Beginning Had Been Different, Then…
Today's If…
“If my beginning had been different, then maybe my life would have been better.”
Have you ever quietly thought this?
If I had been born into a different family, then…
If my parents had loved me differently, then…
If we had not been poor, then…
If I had been given the opportunities other people had, then…
If I had not experienced sickness, rejection, abandonment, abuse, or loss, then…
If I had received a better education, then…
If someone had believed in me, then…
Sometimes we spend years trying to finish a sentence that God never asked us to write.
The Culture Around Us Says…
Today we can see hundreds of other people's lives without ever leaving our homes.
We see their vacations.
Their marriages.
Their children.
Their homes.
Their bodies.
Their ministries.
Their accomplishments.
Their celebrations.
And without realizing it, comparison begins writing an “if…then” story inside us:
“If I had what she has, then I would be happier.”
But we are comparing the inside of our lives with the outside of someone else's.
We see the picture.
God sees the whole story.
“For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” — 1 Samuel 16:7
A Question We Need to Ask
What “if…then” have you been carrying?
Maybe yours isn't about money or success.
Maybe it is much deeper.
If my father had stayed, then…
If my mother had loved me, then…
If I had never gotten sick, then…
If that person had never hurt me, then…
If I had made a different decision twenty years ago, then…
Finish the sentence honestly:
If ________________________________________, then __________________________________________.
Don't rush past it.
Sometimes we cannot surrender something to God until we are willing to admit that we are still carrying it.
A Biblical Picture — Joseph
Joseph did not choose his beginning.
He didn't choose his brothers' jealousy.
He didn't choose the pit.
He didn't choose to be sold.
He didn't choose slavery.
He didn't choose Potiphar's wife's false accusation.
He didn't choose prison.
There were many places where Joseph could have lived inside an “if…then.”
If my brothers had loved me, then I wouldn't be here.
If they hadn't sold me, then my life would be different.
If Potiphar's wife hadn't lied about me, then I wouldn't be in prison.
If God really had a plan for me, then why am I here?
But Scripture keeps giving us one remarkable truth:
“The Lord was with Joseph.” — Genesis 39:2
And again, when Joseph was in prison:
“But the Lord was with Joseph and showed him steadfast love.” — Genesis 39:21
Notice what Scripture does not say.
It doesn't say Joseph's circumstances were good.
It says God was with him.
That changes everything.
The Truth Hidden Inside the Story
Years later, Joseph stood before the very brothers who had sold him.
He could finally see something he could not have understood while sitting in the pit.
He told them:
“You meant evil against me, but God meant it for good.” — Genesis 50:20
Joseph did not call evil good.
He called God greater than the evil.
There is a difference.
What happened to you may have been wrong.
What you lost may have been real.
What someone did may have wounded you deeply.
God does not ask us to pretend those things did not matter.
But He does ask us not to give those things authority over the rest of our story.
Grieving the Past Is Not the Same as Living in the Past
You can acknowledge that your childhood hurt.
You can admit that something was unfair.
You can mourn what you never received.
You can even wish things had been different.
Faith does not require you to pretend the past didn't matter.
But there comes a point where we must stop asking the past to give us a different past—and begin asking God what He wants to do with our present.
Healing doesn't mean saying, “It didn't hurt.”
Healing begins when we can say, “It hurt, but it does not get to decide who I become.”
From My Heart to Yours
There was a time when I could have looked at my childhood and asked many “if…then” questions.
If I had been born somewhere else…
If my family had not been poor…
If Cambodia had not been torn apart…
If I had not been a frightened child simply trying to survive…
If I had not known hunger, loneliness, malaria, and uncertainty…
Then what?
As a child, I could not see America.
I could not see my future family.
I could not see ministry.
I could not see the women God would someday allow me to walk beside.
I could only see what was directly in front of me.
But El Roi—the God who sees me— could see what I couldn't.
My beginning was not evidence that God had forgotten me.
God was already writing beyond what I could see.
That is why today I don't want to spend my life asking:
“What if my beginning had been different?”
I want to ask:
“God, what do You want to do with the life You have placed in my hands today?”
— El Roi's Daughter — the God who sees me
Now Let's Turn the “If”
Here is where our lesson changes.
Instead of:
If my past had been different, then I could have had a meaningful life…
Let's begin with God.
If God was with Joseph in the pit,
then God can be with me in mine.
If God could redeem Joseph's painful beginning,
then my beginning does not have to determine my ending.
If God sees what I cannot yet see,
then I don't have to understand everything before I trust Him.
If God can use what I have walked through,
then even my scars can become places from which I serve others.
And ultimately:
If God is still writing my story,
Then I Will Not Let Yesterday Write the Ending.
The Place Where Faith Becomes Action
Take your original sentence:
If ________________________________________, then __________________________________________.
Now write another sentence underneath it:
“But because God is ________________________, I can __________________________ today.”
For example:
If my childhood had been different, then maybe I would not carry these wounds.
Becomes:
Because God is my Healer, I can begin allowing Him to heal what my childhood left behind.
Not tomorrow.
Not when everything changes.
Today.
Three Questions for the Heart
1. What “if…then” from my past do I repeatedly return to?
2. Have I allowed something I could not control then to control how I live now?
3. What could change if I stopped asking, “Why wasn't my life different?” and began asking, “God, what can You do through my life now?”
Kingdom Action
This week, notice whenever you think or say:
“If only…”
Don't condemn yourself.
Catch it.
Write it down.
Then ask:
Is this thought helping me trust God—or keeping me emotionally tied to a life I cannot go back and rewrite?
Replace it with one truth:
“My beginning is part of my story. It is not the Author of my story.”
God is.
A Moment With God
Father,
You know every “if” hidden inside my heart.
You know the childhood I wish had been different, the opportunities I wish I had received, the people I wish had stayed, the suffering I wish had never happened, and the decisions I wish I could change.
But today I give You my unfinished sentences.
I cannot go backward and rewrite yesterday.
But I believe You are already present in tomorrow.
When I am tempted to look at someone else's life and wonder what mine could have been, turn my eyes back toward You.
Teach me to stop measuring Your goodness by the circumstances I wish You had changed.
Like Joseph, help me recognize:
You were there.
You are here.
And You are not finished.
Take what was meant to destroy me and redeem it for Your purpose.
Take my pain and grow compassion.
Take my weakness and display Your strength.
Take my scars and make them places where another wounded person can find hope.
And when another “if” rises inside me, remind me:
If You are with me, then I have what I need to take the next step.
In Jesus' name,
Amen.
A Final Whisper to Your Heart
Maybe your beginning wasn't what you would have chosen.
Maybe parts of your story still hurt.
But you are not standing at the beginning anymore.
You are standing here.
And God is here too.
So don't spend the rest of your life asking:
“If my life had been different, then who could I have become?”
Begin asking:
“Since God is with me now, who is He calling me to become?”
Your past can explain part of your story without being allowed to determine the rest of it.
If God is still writing…then your story isn't finished.
Walking with you in His grace — one step, one prayer, one surrendered heart at a time.
— Rachel Lim
El Roi's Daughter — the God who sees me